Thursday, January 1, 2015

We've moved!

Though I am doubtful anyone still follows this blog, I have taken it over to

where you can follow our latest journey!

Monday, November 17, 2014

Bitter or Better

This idea has been hanging heavy on my mind for awhile now. But, before I get into that, I will say that we saw the MFM doctor again today. Although the reason for it is shit, it is nice for someone who is high strung under normal circumstances to be able to check in on the little babes so much.

And they are just fine, though the picture doesn't really do them justice since they move so much and its hard to zero in on them. They both measure the same and they look like actual little babies now. They were kicking their spider legs at each other. The good news is that we were able to rule out conjoined twins today, since they have finally separated a bit. The bad news is that time number three searching for a membrane was still not successful.

I know there is still hope that we might find this paper thin membrane everyone talks about, but the hope isn't great. The babies were touching on yet another plane today and that means that's 3 different places the babies can touch. The odds aren't good that they can somehow do that through a membrane that is meant to separate them.

Still, today we have healthy little beans, and that's what matters most. The doctor on duty didn't mince any words when it came to our chances, but he did tell me something that was (oddly) reassuring. He said "I wont tell you not to worry, but I will tell you this. There is NOTHING you can do. Nothing that you can do or will do is going to make a difference (obviously notwithstanding the normal things like smoking, drinking, ect)". He said that hes seen the highest risk pregnancies go off without a hitch, and normal run of the mill pregnancies go to emergency in one minute. And that the technology and practices get better every day. But in the end ... the chips will fall where they lie, and there isn't much anyone can do.

For a self proclaimed control freak, it isn't always easy to just let fate do its thing. Still, in a weird way, its nice to know that I can let it go a little because the worrying isn't going to keep my babies safe.

And that leads me to what Ive been grappling with, truthfully since we found out we were expecting. You see, after just one miscarriage and a lot of heartache in the past, I find it hard to be excited about pregnancy. Instead I throw the stick down and say "okay, now lets see whats going to go wrong".

At first I worried about chemical pregnancies and I was jealous of those who got to announce.

Then I was worried about miscarriage, and was jealous of those who were in their second trimester.

Then I worried about missed miscarriage and I was jealous of women who didn't have to go through that.

Then came the twins ... and the type of twins ... and I was jealous of anyone who got to have a "regular" pregnancy.

You see the theme here? While jealousy is a very normal part of being human, the problem with too much of it is that it can sour you pretty quickly. It can poison your mind and your heart, and suddenly it can have you believe that not only is EVERYONE else getting what they want, but they are doing it in a direct attack on you.

Its hard not to compare. Its hard to wonder why crackheads and pedophiles get healthy babies, and you fight for every one you have (or every one you want). Its hard to see people breeze through life and never seem to struggle.

But I suppose, if I was thinking about it, that we all have something that could be coveted. Some of us have babies, some have husbands ... some have jobs, or homes, or families that love us. Some of us have mothers, some have fathers. Some of us have beauty or brains. If you start playing that game, suddenly everyone is an asshole who is taking what is "yours".

But it hit me, not long ago, that I can control this. I can let this experience make me bitter, or I can let it make me better. I need to look inside myself and deal with it in there. Deal with the haves, and the have nots.

Deal with the fact that this is scary.

Deal with the fact that Im scared.

Deal with the fact that we might lose our babies.

Deal with the fact that life isn't "fair".

Deal with the fact that there isn't one pool of happiness and everyone only gets to take from some finite share. That no ones uterus, or babies, or experiences have anything to do with my own. They don't take away from whats happening and they don't contribute to it.

I think its normal to feel pangs of jealousy, or even hurt. If we lose these babies I will never look at twins the same. I think I will always be envious of anyone who has twins. But there is a difference between being envious and deciding that your situation is the only one that matters.

So Ive decided to make a choice. A conscious choice to not let myself go down that road. I have to deal with this head on. Not deflect it. Not minimize it. I need to hurt when I need to, and I need to feel joy when I do. Nothing is going to "jinx" me and nothing is going to "give me luck". I have faith in God and I have a lot of support. Whatever happens to these sweet babies from here, at least we know we had them.

On that note, we went public, a week earlier than I was expecting. I was hesitant, but so glad we did. I forget that everything gets easier when you have a huge support system, and I have one of the best. Just seeing all the thoughts, prayers, and positive thoughts was enough to really make me feel positive. And we lived to see another day.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Momos arent the worst thing!

We had our appointment with the MFM specialist on Monday. While I thought I was prepared for anything, the appointment took a turn for the worst pretty quickly.

Allen was off that day, which meant he would get his first look at the twinks. I was hoping and praying to see a dividing membrane, but I would be content with two heartbeats. Always hoping for two heartbeats, every time. Its a bit exhausting, all this worry.

So the tech asks what we know about identical twins, and is impressed by our extensive knowledge. She assures us that momos are so rare that shes bound to find a membrane today. My confidence grew that my worries were just Google fed, and we would actually be just fine with mo/di twins.

That didn't go quite as planned. From the beginning, the twins have been intertwined. They just don't want to let go of one another. While that is sweet, when you know what it means, its also scary. The fact that they can not only touch, but can touch in different forms / parts, usually means that there is no membrane.

A membrane should keep them apart. Even if they were to back up to the membrane and be next to one another, they should not be able to touch constantly and in various ways. Im not a tech, or a doctor, but I know this.

So no, theres no membrane. And she asks to do a transvaginal (of course), because every single person swears they will be the one to find the stupid membrane. But no one ever does. And everyone swears that momos are SO RARE and the membrane is TOTALLY going to be found, but no one sees what we do on that screen.

There. Is. No. Membrane.

While that upsets me in a lot of ways, at this point Im frustrated because I just want to move past it already. There is no damn membrane so lets get to the point - our pregnancy is so rare and high risk that we are basically a freak show. Got it.

But the tech wont give up, and the MFM doctor comes in. This is when things go from yucky news to downright scary. The MFM doctor is concerned that the twins don't move independently. Before she can rule out conjoined, she wants to see them separate in certain parts of their body. Although I know in my head that last time they separated, that doesn't prevent me from being scared to death.

The tech has the wand as far as it can go, and the MFM doctor is pushing on my stomach trying to get the twins to budge. They refuse. The tech and doctor keep apologizing for hurting me (and it does hurt quite a bit), but I just want them to get the babies to move so we all feel reassured.

The twins were so stubborn and they wouldn't budge. The doctor told the tech to put suspected conjoined and the tech did, then went back to abdominal just in case. FINALLY twin A slid down and put their head on Twin B's butt. While they were still touching, the doctor said that was enough to put the chance down to about 10%. We still haven't "ruled out" conjoined and have to go back on Monday.

Troublemaker Twinks

Then the doctor, whom I sure was just trying to be sensitive, took my hands in her hands and looked me square in the eye. She told me she was pretty positive these twins were momo's (at least) and that meant that we were in for a very long road. She told me we had to come back next week for a consultation, where we were going to hear some very scary things. She specifically mentioned "guaranteed preemies", "long hospital stay" and "stillbirth". Although I knew all of these things, for some reason hearing her say them brought me to tears. I guess its different when youre Googling worst case scenarios and your medical professional is telling you that your odds are, frankly, not great.

She did wrap up by saying that modern medicine was amazing, and making great strides every day. She also said that she can name two moms right now whose momos were alive and thriving, healthy little girls that youd never know were high risk preemies.

While that made me feel better, I just had a break down when they left the room. Although I am grateful for the chance, I don't understand why we have to go through this. Why us? Why not just a baby to add to our family? I know that so many people never even get this far, and I need to count our blessings, but its hard.

 Its hard not to wonder every second of the day if the twins are okay, if today is the day that we officially become a statistic. Oh, Ill say, I had momos too, but I lost them. They died for no other reason than the egg split a day later than it should have. Just one day. I couldn't protect them from that one day.

Its hard not to worry about the hospital stay, or missing my kids and husband, or money.

Its hard not to worry about how well feel when we see our babies struggling in the NICU when they should be cozy inside me.

Its hard not to worry about how well feel when we cant buy a thing, we cant decorate, we cant plan. When we should be stocking up on diapers and sales on baby gear, well have to just pass it by and say "IF the babies are born, THEN well buy things". We wont purchase so much as a onesie until the twins are safely out of me. Although I know no one is promised a baby, no matter how healthy they are or how great things look, its hard to carry that with you all the time. 50/50. You might get a baby, you might not. It all depends on the winds of fate. Or the plan that is already written.

All of this is a lot to take on. Im hesitant, but we have chosen to announce at the standard 12 weeks if we make it that far. We want to celebrate the peanuts for as long as we have them. Although part of me thinks I should just keep it quiet, the larger part knows that I cannot possibly go on as if they don't exist. As if they never existed. They are woven into the tapestry of who I am, just as much as my kids that are living. And the one who is not.

2 years ago yesterday we lost our baby bean. I thought I would never recover, but I did. We got through. And we have Gabrielle. I just keep thinking, no matter what well make it through. But I do know we wont make it through unchanged.

I cant tell if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014


Its been over a year since I posted anything here. Life gets crazy - two little ones, moving around the country, just being ...

I feel like I have to chronicle this journey though. I don't know why, or what compels me to do so. Maybe Ill be writing through my grief at some point. Maybe Ill be giving others hope. Or a voice. Or a place to know they aren't alone.

Whatever the case, here it goes. Im bringing blogging back ... but not under the funniest of terms.

Allen and returned to Fort Irwin in August as a pit stop to our new life. He had just graduated school and life was good. We decided to take the kids to Disneyland as our joint birthday celebration / farewell to California.

Gabrielle had just weaned, and I knew my cycle would return at some point, though I was quite concerned it had stayed away for a whole year. Baby fever had majorly returned, and we were anxiously awaiting the "green light" from nature to begin trying for our next addition.

Before going to Disney, I got a teasing text from a friend that said "don't bring home any more souvenirs!". We have a strong suspicion that John was our present we brought home from at 2010 trip to Disney world. I laughed and said "whatever, that would be great!". Famous last words.

I know my body and Natural Family Planning enough to know that ovulation was nearing, so I warned my husband that a decision to do those activities would probably lead to a baby. He was on board so we threw caution to the wind and hoped we'd have something to celebrate soon.

Heh. In hindsight, that makes me chuckle.

We arrived at our temporary home (a pit stop before our real move) and to the hotel that would be our home the next three months. Things went quite wrong from the beginning and I felt TERRIBLE. I had felt that way before, but the test was negative so I thought maybe I was just travel lagged. Still, I kept telling Allen that either I was pregnant or crazy. He told me it was crazy and to STOP taking tests. Sure enough, the faintest of lines appeared. I walked out of the bathroom, threw him the test and said "SEE?! Not crazy!". That's the kind of romance you get on kid #3.

The tests got darker over the days, but something felt wrong. I don't know what it was, but I just had an ominous feeling about things. The first scare came when I used those stupid Clearblue weeks estimators and it went from 2-3 to 3+ back to 2-3. We spent one whole weekend waiting for a miscarriage that never came. Finally I took another and it was a solid 3+. Waste of money and time, those things are.

Then the 7 week scan showed a tiny little baby with a heartbeat, but measuring very small. A week behind. I knew the date I got my BFP and that would have made it 4 DPO. If you know anything about NFP, you know that's not remotely possible. So I was sent home with the instructions to wait two weeks and come back for a follow up "viability scan". Most slow growers do not go on past the second trimester. Another two weeks of hell followed, where I kept saying "well, IF the baby survives, which it wont". I had even started to feel like I had grieved the pregnancy and I was ready to move on to the next step.

I feel like I have to put this photo here to show that this is what we saw the whole time. One heartbeat. One little baby. I have since seen the ultrasound on the computer at the OB. There was not a second of that scan where you would ever guess it was not just a small measuring singleton baby.

So I went back two weeks later, so nervous I could throw up. My two girlfriends went with me, even though I said Id be fine and I just wanted to get it over with. Im so glad there were there now.
The tech did an abdominal first. She knew how nervous I was, so she said "see? Baby has grown, heres the heart, great rate ....". I cried so hard I shook the picture on the screen. I couldnt believe I went in thinking I would lose the baby, only to find that s/he was perfect. And they did look perfect and measured right on target (2 days behind this time, but thats fine given I wasn't temping or charting).
So she moves the scanner around for awhile and we see baby, but s/he isnt really moving. In fact, the whole picture looks strange. S/he isn't moving, but it looks like its ... morphing? I thought the picture was just really bad.
The tech asks if she can do a transvaginal. Of course I insist she tell me why and whats wrong but she just said it all is great and she needs to back herself up for her records. I empty my bladder and go back thinking its for sure terrible news. She inserts the wand, we see baby and a heartbeat. I start to joke "hey, how many are in there?!" because even though baby isn't moving much, it looked like it was flipping back and forth. The tech was really quiet. She then went back to abdominal, again saying everything was fine, she just needed to look one more time.
Then I saw what looked like another heartbeat ... but there was already a heartbeat? That didn't make sense. She finally said that she was sure it was fine, but there did look to be two babies (SHOCK!!!!!!)). She called the doctor in and they discussed what could be "machine mirroring" which is where the machine malfunctions and the images mirror one another. They were about to have me come back in two weeks to see what they thought, when the babies very clearly broke apart ... put fluid in between them ... and showed us all that there was no mistake. Baby A and Baby B - measured great, heart rate great .... identical spontaneous twins.
After the initial shock, we were ecstatic. I told my husband in a fun way, and we told our closest friends and family. And then we googled.
Oh dear. Don't ever google, thats what they say. They are right you know.
We found out that not only are our risk factors with identical through the roof, they are even more so with mono/mono twins, which is what we believe we are dealing with since they were practically intertwined the whole time. We have an appointment on Monday for the level II scan to see if they are mono/mono or mono/di. We are praying for mono/di twins, as the risks are slightly lower, but the chances are slim after what we saw.
I want to chronicle this journey because I want my babies to be remembered, no matter how long they are in the world. I fell hopelessly in love with them both the second they broke from their heart shape and showed themselves. I want nothing more than to bring them home, safe, and I will stop at nothing until we do. But I know the reality we are facing .... all I can do is pray.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

To my baby boy, on the eve of your second birthday ...

So here we are, an entire year later. 

Do you remember this kid?

Me either. 

Seems like a lifetime ago that we celebrated your first birthday. Ive spent the entire weekend trying to recall the past year, but even beyond that, the first few weeks of your life. Im amazed at how quickly my memory bank has deleted much of that time frame - how I cannot quite recall the smell of your hair before your first bath, or how I remember how tired I was with you, but I cannot recall the first time you smiled at me on purpose. I suppose it has to clear itself out to make room for the other things that its had to store there lately.

Things like how you crack us up with your dancing to the Fresh Beat Band. Or how you will rarely speak to us when we ask you to, but you are all too happy to repeat any "bad word" slip ups. Things like how you already know how to use a screwdriver, or how you arent afraid to climb to the top of the highest slide (much to my rising blood pressure's dismay).

Youve had quite a year, for being so small. We celebrated your first birthday with a huge party - our house was full of family and friends and love (and a ton of presents). We spent the fall season going to pumpkin patches, and you had FOUR different costumes for all the parties and trick or treating that we did. 

It never ceases to amaze me how you've always been the life of the party. Sometimes thats a great thing, and sometimes it means that mommy's nerves are shot, but ever since the day you were born you've been commanding attention - all eyes on you, all the time. There are times you do that with humor, and times you do that through screaming at the top of your lungs, but no matter which way youve done it, you are certainly in no danger of being overlooked.

 When you were a baby we used to say "oh, hell grow out of it". Turns out, you didn't, and you still havent. But it also turns out that this personality trait serves you well. You dont let anyone push you around. You dont easily get your feelings hurt, and you are very good at getting what you want. Though that drives us crazy now, one day that is going to be your best personality trait.

You celebrated your second Christmas, but you still werent sure what to think. 

Then we got word that we were going to move across the country. So in your second year of life, we packed up the only house you had ever known - the one we waited for you in, the one that we brought you home to, the one that we got to know each other in - and we moved across the country to the California desert. You were an amazing traveler and mover - most babies would lose their minds when taken out of their element the way you were, but you amazed us with your ability to drive and hotel hop. 

Mommy was also expecting your baby sister at this time. She was incredibly sick and there were days that she could barely get off the couch. For as energetic as you were, you seemed to know when to give her a little slack. 

Before we had you, we didnt think wed ever have a baby together. We had even given up on the idea for awhile. And then, there you were, and it was like life before you was all just a dream. The past two years have been the most amazing of our lives. Like most parents, some days we wonder what it would be like to go back to the days where we slept in, had money, could do whatever we wanted ... but we agree that life without being your mommy and daddy wouldnt be worth living. For every second that is stressful, or tiring, comes a million years worth of laughter and joy. YOU are our joy. We have never laughed as much as we do now that we have you. 

I hope that you will always be just who you are. I hope that you will always stand your ground the way you do now. I hope that you will always hold onto what you believe with such fierce intensity. I hope that you will always love as big as you do now. I hope that all the things that make you a very interesting child will make you a very interesting adult. There is no one like you in this world - there is no other John Douglas Cone that is just like you. And you become more amazing every day.

Now you are a big brother as well as a little brother. And just like with you, as soon as Gabrielle came into our family, we could not remember what life was like without her. You are a wonderful big brother - you genuinely love your sister, and already want to protect her. I hope that the two of you will remain this close for the rest of your lives. We wont always be around to take care of you, and that is why we want you to have each other. I hope that you will remember that brothers and sisters fight - sometimes big fights - but it doesnt change the fact that you need each other. Daddy and I will do everything in our power to foster a loving relationship for the both of you because its one of the most important ones you will have in this lifetime.

Its hard to believe that another year has gone by already. There are times when I am so excited to see who you are going to become, but there are other times when I want to grab the clock and make it stop going so fast. Every time we have a day that is more fussy than smiles, I try to remember that one day you wont need me this much. I remember that one day you will have your own children and your own life, maybe somewhere far away. I try to remember that this time is finite. 

I cannot believe what an incredible 1 year old youve been, and I am so excited to see what an amazing two year old youll be. 

Monday, June 24, 2013

Countdown to baby - Week 8, Kids Rooms, and managing GD (all at once).

The last two weeks Ive spent getting the kids areas done. I had done them before, but with the influx of new items for miss Gabrielle, I had a ton of work cut out for me making space, and getting rid of some things that I had held onto that we dont *really* need.

Lets start with the bathroom ... sweet Jesus, the bathroom.

So heres my thing. I have 2.5 bathrooms in this house. One is mine, one is the kids, one is a half bath for guests. My thought process (as flawed as I suppose it was) was that I could pull off a "kids" bathroom that would be okay for all of them. Yes, even the 14 year old.

Let me tell you about my teenager. 1: He only showers when FORCED. 2: He sleeps with no sheets on his bed because he "prefers the bare mattress". 3: He couldnt care less about his room and will also only clean that when forced. He will do anything he can to get out of toothbrushing, face washing, or generally anything that involves this particular room of the house.

So, to my surprise, he was PISSED when he saw the shower curtain. Like, could not believe the nerve I had to buy this thing pissed. I had no idea hed even notice. Sure, its not "manly" ... in fact, its pretty kid like, but thats the point. I used primary colors for everything else and I figured he doesnt even use that room enough to notice ...

So I made him a deal that if he takes an unforced shower every day for a month, Ill do the bathroom in whatever he chooses. You want to guess what day were on with that? Yeah, zero. So the effing shower curtain stays. I like it.

The green bucket is for bathtub toys, the big red one is for dirty clothes, and the yellow one is for wipes and toilet paper. We are nothing if not functional. The red sign above the towel says "So fresh and so clean, clean".

Honestly, its not THAT bad

Then I moved on to the kids room. I spent quite a bit of time on this when we first moved here, so it wasnt a huge stretch, but there were some last details I wanted to get done.

I have mentioned how base housing is the thorn in my side, yes? I mean, dont get me wrong, its not terrible ... and I am grateful to have a home that we can live in comfortably. But, just like any other base house, you get what you get ... so we work with what we get.

Though, the kids room is one of my favorites. When I started out with the concept, it was "budget". I really needed something that would fit in my budget ... and then after that the priorities were "good for two", "boy / girl friendly", and "fun". 

This is one room where I really feel like I nailed all the things I wanted to do. It cost around $200 for the whole damn thing, its a lot of fun, and it is super functional. I forgot to take a picture of the side of the room with the diaper storage and doorway gate, but you get the idea. I like that they dont sleep next to each other ... although I doubt either of them will sleep in here because they are both spoiled rotten, but I guess you never know. I took the colors from the quilt that my friend Brooke made for John, got some crib bedding that matched, hung wall stickers and Chinese lanterns, and put two of my favorite Bible verses above their beds. 

Johns is Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart". 

Gabrielles is 1 Samuel 1:27 "For this child I have prayed and the Lord has granted the desires of my heart". 

Both are special to each of them, for different reasons. I love that they are in here. 

Lots of play area in this room - definitely enough for the two of them! They have an IKEA toddler table and a toy bin that they can access easily. The blue bin next to the glider is the book bin. 

His and hers closet space! I finally have all of Gabby's clothes hung and sorted. Most of them are in the dresser in the changing table, but Im trying to be better about hanging things too. 

Whew, so another two rooms totally complete. And how is the rest of the house faring, you wonder? Eh, I thought that a total declutter was going to mean that the house NEVER gets dirty. And that doesnt seem to happen. Granted, its dirty with functional things - as in, the things that I pick up are things that we are using, not just things we dont have a place for. And actually cleaning up is easier as well because everything really does have a place. Still, Im still searching for that magical way to not have to clean EVERY SINGLE DAY. Maybe the secret is that you have to have the kids out of the house first ....

Also, Ive been managing my latest companion, which is the diagnosis of gestational diabetes. Its not as bad as it sounds, but its certainly not as easy as I thought. I never considered myself someone who ate terrible, but this is a HUGE BIG HUGE wake up call as to all the things I do need to change. I dont want this to be my life forever ... my diet is strictly controlled, from portions to food groups to time that I eat. I have to test my sugar 4 times a day by sticking my finger and testing my blood. I am starting to realize that I better really change the way I get to eat now, or else Im going to be paying for it later in life as I eat for survival. I think Id prefer to forgo some of those weekly ice cream trips or those late night snacks so that I can have them later in life .... not that I want to go crazy once Im off the diet, but I want to KEEP the ability to have birthday cake every few months. Id like to be able to have a dessert if I choose on special occasions. And that means that I need to change my look on food - its not a "reward", its fuel. And if I keep using cheap fuel, my engine is going to burn out. And nobody's got time for that. 

Monday, June 10, 2013

Countdown to baby, Week 10 (holy crap!) - Living Room / Entry Way

You know what the bane of my "Pinterest house addiction" is? Post housing.

Sigh. Its just so ... white. White walls. White blinds. White ceiling fan. It seems like the worst color in the world to keep a house that has revolving door tenants, but I guess its the cheapest thing to maintain.

So here we are, week three of my challenge to make this damn house a home. I have to say, Im most pleased with the living room, of all the rooms so far. We definitely spend the most time in here, so it was important to me that I make something functional and fun. Bonus points for cozy.

This is sort of a mess, but its an ORGANIZED mess (thats what I keep telling myself anyways). We lost the playroom when we left GA, but there is just no way we can keep John's toys upstairs. We are rarely ever up there and there is no blasted way Im walking up and down for new toys every day. Not happening.

So we set up a nice little area for the bean. Lots of trucks, an art easel, and a box of books. I actually did go through that entire toybox and throw away the old, broken, outdated toys. That took an entire day but it was worth it. And yes, its still full, even with all of those gone ... I dont get it either.

And then we have a spot for baby Gabby. I need to put the newborn cradle on the top so that I have somewhere to put her if shes sleeping and I need to tend to something. Im not sure Ill want to leave her in the Mamaroo if John is running around and Im trying to tend to them both. He is QUICK and I think Id prefer her up high and out of curious baby reach. The brown cube holds our cloth diapers! Youd never know it, but its true. 

I absolutely love our entryway sign:

 Entryway and stairs. I put up hooks for the purses, since they always seem to get thrown on the floor. This is SO much easier. 

Also, my pictures always seem a little crooked. Makes me wonder if my balance is all off.

Not too many changes here. Moved the lamps to another place, since they were always in Johns direct line of fire. Cleaned out the cabinets in the entertainment center and organized them. Also got my P90x and Insanity so I put those in there too ... I cant wait to get started on them after baby. 

Put a few wall decorations up, moved some frames around, generally tried to fill in the spaces without it being TOO much. Printed out some pictures so it actually looks like we like each other. Took a lot of the crap out of here that didnt belong ....

So, another room done. It feels so much better to be in here with more room, and less crap. In general, the entire house is starting to feel like its opening up and getting a lot more functional and easier to clean. We still have a few little touches to complete, like getting something for securing and hiding the TV wires and well eventually have to set up a diaper / nursing box for Gabby like we have for John. One thing at a time though and so far so good!

This week Im focusing on the kids rooms. The littles room is mostly completed, but I need to get their closest organized, take inventory of Gabrielle's things, and get rid of some of the toys that are just sitting up there. The progress Ive made so far has definitely motivated me to keep going!