Day 2 of Insanity

I'd type more but it hurts to think.

Insanity - Day 1

First, a little mothers day update (which includes “why Im an asshole”).

So before bed on Mothers Day eve, I had convinced myself that no one did anything for me, so I went to bed pissed off in my head.

(Am I the only one who does this? Sometimes I like to get mad about things that havent happened yet.)

So when I woke up the next morning, I saw roses and chocolates on the table, my first thought was “how original” (listen, Im a bitch sometimes. I would never SAY that, but I thought it because I was in a shit mood, my kid doesnt sleep, and I had already decided that my day sucked). Of course I got over it really quickly, but theres honesty.

Daddy took the baby for me, and I cleaned a bit (welcome to motherhood bitches). Then I took a long bath and we took some pictures. Then they took me to eat and THEN - they took me to get measured for custom inserts for my running shoes. Which is a big effing deal because I was starting to fear shin splints and I couldnt figure out why (since I just spent over 100$ on quality shoes). Turns out I have the worlds flattest feet and I had to get the highest arch support I could get without going to a foot doctor to get special special ones. Thank you both children for the 70+ pounds I gained while gestating them. A very good day, Allen wins, I suck. Fathers Day is now an exceptional challenge, especially as we will be in Arizona for that particular holiday.

Which brings me to the next subject (the fat, not Arizona, which is a whole other stressor). Today I started Insanity. And it is, indeed, insane.

Obviously I havent been “thin” in awhile. While I avoided the freshman 15, I packed on the marriage 15, and then the office 20 (where you sit at a desk and everyone brings fucking birthday cake in). Added to that was the fact that I was sick with John for about 4 months (not as bad as some though, holy cow) and all I wanted was loaves of bread and jelly beans (congrats to my child for not being born as a cherry flavored Jelly Belly). Then with the move it was SO HOT that I never left my recliner. So that was about 60 pounds, after all was said and done (and the baby was out) that I needed to get off my ass (and my every where else).

Breastfeeding helps, of course, but no one tells you about the raging hunger that comes with nursing. If you think pregnancy hunger is bad, times that by about 56 and you have nursing hunger. Dont even bother trying to fight it at first - it consumes you. And while youre establishing your supply dieting can be super harmful to long term feeding. So I accepted my fat, for the short term.

Around Christmas John hit 3 months, and I greenlighted myself (with a little advice from my fabulous midwives) to start dieting. I hit WW breastfeeding plan and it really worked. Since my 2 week PP checkup I am down over 35 pounds and still going.

But, ADD as I am, I need more. Ive hit a plateau, and the only way to kick it back into gear is to switch it up.

So I put out an add on the sales site to buy P90x. And I thought thats what the girl gave me, but it turns out it was insanity. So then it gets interesting.

I wasnt really familiar with insanity, so I watched the infomercial. Basically its this insanely (no pun intended) and comically well chiseled dude who is pushing you beyond “anything your body can do”. And then everyone gets strong and has abs and thinks working out is the best thing ever. And maybe the program will kill you, but if it doesnt then youll be hot. But if it does, not their fault, youre weak. And then you get a tshirt.

I decided what the hell - might as well at least TRY right? Today I did day 1, which was the fit test.

And I FAILED.

Not really. You cant actually fail the test. But if lying on the floor in a pool of your own sweat gasping for air and water is right, then Id rather be wrong.

Shaun T assures me that next time I take the fit test I will not be crying. I guess well see in a few weeks.

Also, Shaun T reminds me of the “hey girl” ads. Hes all like “hey girl, I know its hard. But I believe in you. Dig deeper, youll be thin, and then you can wear your free tshirt to the gym”.

ALSO, here are some mothers day pictures I took of the boys. Please disregard the 4th grade text edits - I can work a camera but not an editing software. 

Mothers Day Eve

This is exactly what I shared with my moms group the other day:

Im not reminding anyone about mothers day this year. I'm not going to go out and buy my own gift (like usual). I'm not saying anything to remind them. I'm going to sit back and let them handle it for once.

Sink or swim mother fuckers.


Stay tuned to see what happens!

Blog hop sounds like something Id do while drinking ....

So this is my first official participation in a blog hop, but from what I see, I sort of dig it.

The awesome Household 6 Diva  and Riding the Roller Coaster are co-hosting this awesome hop, and if they are doing it, its good enough for me!

I vacillate between fun posts and serious ones. I have a lot of opinions, but I try to present them in a non-confrontational format. I dont want to be all up in your koolaid yo. Im laid back in general, but super self conscious ... I want people to love me. Ill let you know how that works out for me.

I’ve been an army wife for 5 years now (though it seems like forever). I took some time off from blogging when I had my youngest. We call him the baby dictator (aka The Small One) and hes 7 months. 7 very loud months.

I also have a 13 year old (The Large One), and my husband (The Very Large One), who is more work than the other two put together!

I am a SAHM for the first time, after years in the workforce. Im still coming around to the idea, but in the meantime I practice all sorts of interesting parenting habits - to include breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing, and teaching my children how to be really awesome (and, sadly, spoiled). 

I dont write about the army all that much - the longer were in, the less it seems important. But sometimes youll get snippets. Mostly I like to talk about hot topics, funny things that happen throughout the day, or important milestones. Youll get a bit of everything here! 

Here we are ! 

You can get a general idea of who I am by browsing around, I wont bore anyone with the details (hi, Im Anne, Im a Capricorn, I love Glee and Oreos ....), but generally speaking if Im around, I try to keep it fresh ... to death.

I also love Jersey Shore.

Why Im leaving the “TIME” lady alone (and why you might at least consider it too).

Yes, every one is in an uproar about this attachment parenting thing, after this weeks cover of TIME.

And I get it - they certainly didnt publish the cover photo so that everyone would say “look at that nice mom who is breastfeeding. That looks nice and normal, nothing to really talk about there”. They put the exact photo, that exact way, so that people would talk.

And they are. And now Im one of them.

But, instead of waxing on about how the mother (Jamie Grumet, a 26 year old from LA) is right or wrong, Im going to do one better. And say shes neither.

TIME got itself a story, and a Facebook buzz, and probably a trending Twitter tag (#extremebreastfeeding). People quickly came out to say that what she was doing was disgusting, criminal, psychologically scarring. People who formula feed, people who breastfeed, people who dont have children - the consensus was that, no matter how fucked up THEIR way is, at least its not Jamie Grumet fucked up!

The only thing I see wrong with that, is its setting ALL camps back, after everyone has been fighting for so long. No matter how we feed (or discipline, or diaper, or parent in general) our children, we want to be respected. We want someone to tell us, “youre doing a good job”. We want people to look at us and say, “thats not the way I did it, but what a great idea. It may not work for us - but good for doing whats right for you”.  We want that - but we dont want to give it.

So Im going to applaud Jamie. Not because I would do what she does (yes, John is breastfed, but no its not going to be for that long), but because I admire her courage. It cant be easy to expose yourself to the world (both your extreme idea AND your breast) and let in the barrage of opinions. According to a follow up article she has been approached and called a “child molester”, a “horrible mother”, and “a sinner”. I cannot fathom the heartbreak it would cause me to hear those words from someone. I cannot imagine how it would feel to see the community call you a shitty parent, when the exact reason you made such an extreme decision was because you loved your child so much.

So Jamie Grumet, where ever you are tonight - thank you. Thank you for having enough bravery to show the world that there are many different ways to be a good mother. Thank you for making us think outside the box, go outside our comfort zones, and make parenting today (the good, the bad, the ugly, and the naked) a topic of water cooler conversation. Maybe because of that bravery other mothers will be able to say, this is how I parent. Its not for everyone, but its for me.

In addition, I watched Jamie on the Today show, and she spoke about the cover. She said she understood why TIME used it (for controversy of course), but that its not exactly as it seems. That when she breastfeeds, its a loving, nurturing time. Its not all day, every day. Her son does not stand on a box and grab a boob. There is nothing sexual about it (and dear God, WHY can we not get over this boobs as a sexual object thing? To a grown man? Yes. To a baby or young child. NO!). Like I said (and I want to be clear on this) I would not practice extended breastfeeding in this manner. Its not for me. But I feel like the bigger picture is that a mother should be able to do what she chooses with her children AS LONG AS THEIR HEALTH AND SAFETY ARE NOT COMPROMISED.

And is this way of feeding compromising her sons health? At least mentally? I guess you could argue that. Im sure in some way it might be. Then again, there are a number of things we do as parents over the years that may cause the same mental harm - but we dont mean it. Parenting is a series of guesses - you win some, you lose some, and you hope you dont fuck them up forever.

Anyhow, thats my opinion. Everyone has one, no ones is wrong, but it sure is a shame to see people spitting hatred at someone they dont know, for a choice that she genuinely made out of love. Then again, I guess if you dont want to be judged you just do everything behind closed doors.

So I says to myself, I says “self, you need to start blogging it out” ....

Where does the time go?

Between washing diapers, nursing, baby wearing, and all the other things a hippie momma wanna be does (like gardening? Yeah I said it), blogging has taken a backseat.

So what have we done in the last few months?

* Accomplished an NTC rotation and the shortest deployment EVER.
* John outgrew colic. It is amazing. He laughs a lot now, and so do we.
* The big one got a girlfriend. Im hoping our next baby is a boy. I can be a mom of all boys. Girls ... eh, not so much.
*Were trying for #3. Surprise?

So now Im working on weight loss, which is a total bitch. I do a bunch of crap around the house that makes me feel like a housewife; however, I have gotten a large group of other mommies together for the ThursDAY drinking club. Its pretty awesome to know youve helped a lot of people get out and be social (and have an excuse to drink wine during the daytime hours). I sing to my kids, I read bedtime stories, I attempt to be a cool wife and not lose my edge (even while singing the Yo Gabba Gabba theme song). I try not to obsess about baby number three, but our family just feels like it needs one more member to be complete. Allen offered to get me a puppy while we wait, but Im not that stupid. Puppies grow into dogs, and sex grows into babies, and the whole thing makes me tired.

I eventually learned that paychecks arent everything. I have some cute flats now - they look as good as my heels, but I can run in them. I figured out that moms have really long days, but when the kids are asleep I miss them. I found out I actually can do it alone - I can take care of two kids, hit the gym, do some couponing, drink wine with my girlfriends, and find time to reorganize the babies closet.

Staying at home isnt ever what I thought Id do. It wasnt in my 10 year plan. But the sheer joy I find in every day now is astounding. When I worked I felt accomplished, but I dont know that I was happy. Happy, it turns out, isnt frantic. Its not bulldozing, or worrysome. Its quiet, and content. It just *is*. Thats a good feeling.

Also Im not half bad at this gig. All three of these boys are happy, healthy, and they seem fufilled. They all love mom. And Allen is really really excited to have another one. I always hear that husbands are hesitant, but he wanted another before I did. Although now I cant think of anything better than a big, loud, messy family.

But lets not get crazy. Were already big, loud, and super messy. But .... were happy.

So theres that.