Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Getting to be about that time ...

We are officially LESS than a month away from the official departure date!

A lot of people ask me if Im sad. The answer is no .... I have to concede that the sadness may hit me after the fact, when we are settled at Stewart and I have the time to think about it, so I havent ruled it out yet. However, I fully believe there are times that you have to know when your time has run its course, and when the next adventure is calling you.

There are so many lessons Ive learned here in the last four years. I certainly havent always been perfect, and I've had to adjust the way Ive spoken, thought and acted. Although I may have had further to go than others (Im not sure why that is ....), I think we can all admit that no one is perfect. I am thankful for the lessons Ive been provided coming to Fort Lewis on how to be a better person. Sometimes we have to craw before we can walk, and we're bound to make a few missteps along the way.

But, you move on. You become better, and hopefully you forgive and forget.

The forgiveness is something that I admit I struggle with. Its hard to forgive when you get hurt, as much as you want to "just move on". I believe that not only is it difficult to forgive when someone accuses you of something you didnt do, but its hard to forgive when a person is so insistent on believing the worst about you that they attack you in every spot theyd like to believe that you're weak.

Its not something worth discussing, but its an inner struggle. Although I must (because of things I was accused of) come across as someone with shifty alliances who doesnt value friendship, I can only point to those who know me to say that isnt true. And, although there are things that happen that leave a friendship far beyond repair, it still blows my mind that a person could turn to the absolute worst without remembering some of the good things.

I guess Ill never understand it. Nor should I really care. The past is the past, and no one can tell me who *I* am. If I know what I did do (and certainly what I didnt) then I know the truth will come out in the end. Also, I should be thankful that circumstances happen to let you know who is (and isnt) good for your life.

To that person: I forgive you, and Im forgetting now.

No comments:

Post a Comment