Around the world (or, the country anyhow) in 7 days.

I TOTES meant to post before this, but were settling in (and before this, were prepping for) the big cross country adventure of ours.

Yes, we took an 8 month old shrieking child in a car, and drove from coastal Georgia to Southern Arizona! Please know that we are the craziest mother fuckers ever to live, but we did it and were all in one piece. Mostly.

I now present to you a picture montage. It is titled “Who thought this was a good idea?”.

Our suggested route. We deviated slightly, but you get the idea. 

On Saturday the 26th, Allen decided he was going to go fishing with our neighbor during the early morning hours, leaving the night free to pack up for our planned Monday departure. This was a STELLAR plan right about until I woke up Saturday morning. The boys had left around 5 am, because men are stupid and like to believe that they are working hard when they fish. By the time we rose at 8 am, there were tropical storm warnings being blasted all over the internet / television.

First of all, what the fuck? True story, the day before I HONEST TO GOD said “Well, looks like were going to hit wonderful weather for our entire trip!”. In my defense, there was no indication that some tropical force was spinning its way towards us at the time. So of course, I panic, mostly because I want to eat the food in New Orleans and any delay in our leaving is going to prevent that from happening.

Of course my husbands phone doesnt get service on the ocean (and because hes an asshole), so I go into DEFCON 3 panic mode. Johns crying, Im throwing clothes around and crying, and I believe I texted Allen to not bother coming home so that Beryl could take his ass out to sea.

Listen, real life isnt always pretty.

However, he got home, we got everything calmed down, and we decided to hit the road one day early - ahead of the storm.

This took about 7 hours. 

We made the relatively uneventful drive to Pensacola. I had pre-booked our hotels for the stay, but this one I had to wing because of the last minute plans. It wasnt terrible, but it was Memorial Day weekend so apparently people were out that dont usually stay in hotels. I spent most of the night listening to some folks who probably just got released from jail fighting with the management over their hotel room. I have no idea what the issue was, but I heard the words “AC”, “new room”, and “I will cut a bitch” a lot.  The next day we headed to the beach (new favorite place!), rented chairs and an umbrella, and had a great day together. Allen and I made inappropriate comments the entire time - I wonder why we dont have a TV show but I figure its because 90% of the time we just watch TV in our underwear. No one wants to see that. 

John and Daddy checking out the beach

The next day was our 5 year anniversary (still havent killed each other, huzzah!) and on to New Orleans. Hello, I love you NOLA. When you drive through the city its not much to see. Its a little dirty and sort of scary. But then you get into the actual town and you realize what all the fuss is about yo. We valeted the car at the hotel (any city that requires valet is thumbs up in my book) and headed straight for Cafe Du Monde. Id never had a beignet but I was going to correct that, poste haste. Then we saw the cathedral, some of the shops, and ate lunch. Then we went back out and ate dinner at Ralph and Kacoos. Sort of touristy but NOLA (for all its wonderful-ness) isnt super baby friendly. However, John was a darling for that dinner. And, I had alligator for the first time.

Basically I was like Pac Man down the streets of New Orleans. I just ate my way from one side of the city to the other. The next day we hit the National WWII Museum, which I highly recommend! 

John ready for dinner with the grown ups!

Then we headed to a pit stop in Sealy, TX. Absolutely nothing to see there, just a good halfway point until our next stop. 

The kid loves the steering wheel. I mean, whatever works right?

The next day we headed out to stay with two of my fellow September mommas (who both ended up being August mommas, oddly!). Jaquelyn was a most wonderful hostess, and Allen and her husband ended up getting along pretty well. It was a great few days, and John is WAY better when surrounded by other babies. That probably means we need more.

Mommas and babies on the lake!

After two wonderful days there, we said goodbye and headed for El Paso (our last day in TX!). My wonderful friend Sarah offered up a home cooked meal and we gladly accepted. We also brought our screeching child over to remind them just why they dont want children :P

And then we arrived at our destination! So Ive been settling us in for the month and a half that were here, before I turn around and do it all over again in reverse. I obviously am a glutton for punishment.

Like I said - who does this shit?