Friday, March 11, 2011

My Biggest Fear

 .... is losing myself.

It's hard enough in this military life to carve out your own identity from your husband.

I dont want to be Sgt. Cone's wife. I want to be Anne ... wife of Allen, mother of Devon and Pinecone, graduate, epic joke teller, bad ass blogger, loud mouth realist, ect......

I've never been content to follow in the shadows. That has contributed to the demise of enough relationships to know that it is sometimes "a problem" ... but its my problem and I stand by it.

My biggest challenge over the next 9 months will be staying "me" when I am portioning out more of myself than ever before ... while losing some of the things that I've long held onto to anchor my own identity (namely my career, which I have taken from 0 to 60 in the last year, and now will have to put the pause button on).

Im not saying its not worth it. I think there is something rewarding about knowing youve given your all to raise an amazing family. I dont think Ill regret one minute of it. BUT, in the tradition of honesty, Id be lying if I said there wasnt legitimate worry about who "I" will become after its all said and done.


“A Woman Should Have” – by Maya Angelou


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...


..one old love she can imagine going back to...and one who reminds her of how far she has come...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

a youth she’s content to leave behind….

a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to
retelling it in her old age….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …..

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .

one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …

a feeling of control over her destiny.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

how to fall in love without losing herself.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

when to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

that she can’t change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

that her childhood may not have been perfect…but its over…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

how to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..

whom she can trust,
whom she can’t,
and why she shouldn’t take it personally…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

where to go…
be it to her best friend’s kitchen table…
or a charming inn in the woods…
when her soul needs soothing…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

what she can and can’t accomplish in a day…
a month…and a year…

1 comment:

  1. I love this. My mom bought a mounted version, on beautiful paper, for both Kate and I. It's wonderful! And you're wonderful!

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