So these are "goals". They are not resolutions. Mostly because I have learned that I am SO defiant that I tell myself what to do and I do the exact opposite. I am le awesome.
1) Spend more quality time with myself (not in that way, sick fucks).
Coffee at 1? Lunch at 2? Shopping at 3? Dinner at 5? Literally thats what Ive tried to cram into my schedule for years. And while its been a lot of fun, Im too old to be so busy these days. And Ive found that I dont really get a chance to just sit on the couch and drink my coffee in peace ... and everyone should be able to do that. So my goal for 2011 is to have some serious "me" time. Although I love my friends, its okay if I "just say no" to a wonderful and fun party in favor of Sex and the City reruns and my PJs.
2) Be confident in MY life and MY choices
New rule - if you dont pay my bills, and you had no hand in my birth, you dont get to weigh in on my life. I appreciate helpful advice from caring friends - but if youre criticizing because I dont live by the principles that you think are right, do me a favor and just talk behind my back. Because thats preferable than me having to waste moments of my life Ill never get back listening to something I dont give a damn about. If the way that I choose to live offends you, the door is that way.
I realize it might sound bitchy - and I dont want a free pass to not care about and consider those that I love and cherish. I just am tired of getting time taken away from those that deserve it because Im worrying about the people that dont.
3) Chill Out
One of the things Devon hates most is when he complains about something, and I say "Youll be fine". He says "You ALWAYS say that", and I say "Are you dead?". And he says "NO" and I say "Then I was always right. Youre fine".
So, the mantra for 2011 is "youll be fine".
For years Ive let myself get worked up over things, such as (but not limited to): "OhIthinkIoffendedherdidIsaythewrongthingthispersonhasnttalkedtomeinawhileIhopetheyarentmadmyclothesdontfitImgettingfatarewegoingtomoveandlosemyjobwillwelikeournewpostdowehaveenoughmoneyarewewastingourlifeawayshouldwebedoingsomethingmorefunrightnowdoeseveryonehatemeamItotallyfailingatlife....."
No wonder Im tired.
Nowadays I apply a litmus test. It goes "Is what Im considering getting upset over going to really matter at all?"
Youd be surprised how many times the answer is no. So, my goal is to just chill the hell out. I like everyone until proven otherwise. The Lord will provide, and as long as I have food to eat and a place to sleep, then honestly, it doesnt matter all that much. Could be worse.
(Please note that I dont believe in disregarding the feelings of others; however, if you anyone is upset and cant talk about their feelings like a big girl (ahem) then we dont have a problem. Because I dont care.)
4) Enrich My Life
(the picture was not choosen for the boobs. Just FYI)
In 2011 I vow to do things that make me a better person. I vow to get OFF the couch and engage in life. I love the work-sleep-hangout routine, but it doesnt challenge me OR make me a better person. So I want to take a photography class, I want to see a play, I want to eat at fabulous places and learn new things. Visit museums, and challenge my idea of "shit I dont like" (first up being a snow based activity, which previously fell under the "Id rather poke my eyeballs out with dull scissors than do" category).
I dont want to just "be" or go through the same routine. Yes, being an Army family brings about a number of adventures, but you only get one spin on this ride - Im damn sure going to exhaust all the possibilities that I can.
Also, maybe I should get off Facebook so much ... but lets take things one step at a time shall we?
5) BE GRATEFUL
And last (but most important) be 100%, absolutely, down to my bones, heart, and soul grateful. There are always going to be goals, there will always be hopes and dreams for the future, but that doesnt mean that I shouldnt lay my head down every night and PRAISE God for all He has done for me. Ive been given more than I ever dreamed of, and I know that I dont deserve most of it (but Ill take it .....). I dont want to sit around and bitch about whats wrong - Im ready to focus on whats RIGHT - because there is a whole lot.
It all sounds so simple when you write it - I wonder why the implementation is so difficult ;) ?