During a phone conversation this last weekend, I explained something to Yeci I doubt shell ever forget ... and its more of the shit that no one tells you about pregnancy.
Me: So I get these weekly updates for my pregnancy in email. And the last one said I might consider perineal stretching.
Yeci: Oh Lord ... what is that?
Me: So, its apparently to prevent tearing during delivery. Your parter is supposed to go down there, put his index fingers in your vag hole, and slowly stretch it apart. Ten reps a night.
Yeci: Have you spoken with Allen about his new responsibility?
Me: Not yet. You know Allen. Hell come in with a flashlight duct taped to his head, a tire jack and WD-40.
So there you go. You know youre ready to have a baby with someone when you’re comfortable having them stretch your hoo-hoo.
For the record, I did address this with Allen (on the way home from church no less), and he made the noise that you hear when the mechanics take your tires off with that special drill thingy. So A) I was right and B) Im not doing it.