This is officially the last time I carry a spawn

Here we are, with another round of measure the blood and call me in an hour. It seems to be Johns FAVORITE game, but honestly I dont know how much more I (or Daddy) can take.

The pregnancy seems to be fine. There is nothing that theyve found WRONG. By all accounts, Ive had a very normal and healthy pregnancy. But then out of no where, I bleed. In fact, its always on the days where I remark on how healthy I feel that I sit down to use the restroom and get a big surprise. No one seems overly concerned about it. No one has said that this will stop me from a natural birth. Everything seems okay ..... so I guess I dont get it.

I dont want to worry my mom, and I dont want to talk about it on Facebook (oh, I have boundaries ....they are just waaaaaay past other peoples). Allen has his Google MD in vaginal bleeding (nasty words!) by now, and we both know what it COULD be. But we dont know what it is.

So Im laying down for the next few hours to count the movements and check the blood. I can already tell its slowed ... it seems to come fast, and then completely leave, which surprised my midwife at my hour check in just now - although she was pleased that it was good news.

 Weve been through this with my last doctor, but I must say that the midwife is a Godsend. When it happened with my doctor we couldnt get through after hours, so we talked to the triage nurse at the ER and got advice. Then I talked to the nurse at the Dr’s office the next day who was pretty to the point about it not being a concern. The midwife on after hours duty was really available, asked a lot of questions, and is pointing me things to do so we can check the progress. Then, if things dont improve, shell be at the center for me to come in.

Through it all, as Im doing movement counts, this bundle of energy is making himself known. While Devon is my sweet boy (even at 12), I can tell that John is going to be my little ball of fire. I dont even mind, I just want him to stay in there long enough to grow so strong that Ill be exhausted at the end of every day. And then when I want to tear my hair out Ill look back and remember the fear of losing him was like. I doubt anything will seem so bad then.

So if anyone actually reads this ... which I dont know that anyone does, but if you do, maybe you could say a prayer. Im feeling better, the pain is subsiding and I have an ultrasound first thing on Tuesday morning .... but if not for this time, then for the next. Just to get our baby John into the world safe and sound. After that Ill take any back bad things that Im due ... just as long as he comes out okay.

** EDIT **** seems like were fine. 12 hours no blood, no contractions. It doesnt help that Im pretty paranoid (after 4 years and this kid pops up I suppose Im just scared to lose him). So, thanks for praying :)